i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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