i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Randomize
