well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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