Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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