She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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