I heard we made out
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
