none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I am midnight drunk by noon
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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