i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I met the friendliest cop last night
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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