i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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