i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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