Banned from zoo.
Again?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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