A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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