sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
