Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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