I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we made out on top of his cat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
