It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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