We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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