You work out of a Hotel?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
