There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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