Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
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you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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