i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
