If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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