Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
