One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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