Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
