Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
