why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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