Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize