There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You took a bar mat shot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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