Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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