That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
