i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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