He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
