I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
