Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
