So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
