A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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