is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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