i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Someone shit on the floor
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
