Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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