Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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