if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
