what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
