so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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