I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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