I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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