All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
