I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
