i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
