Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
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thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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