I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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