Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
