hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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