I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
