i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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