Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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