just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
