That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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